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“John is…”

I just came up with this after reading a similar bulletin on myspace. I Googled “John is” and picked out a few dozen of the phrases that came up. Then the new part, pieced them together to make a story! I was rolling on the floor laughing at some of the things that came up so maybe you’ll get a kick out of this too….

John is not an easy person to write about.
John is so great that, as recorded by the folklorist Harry Middleton Hyatt in the 1930s, just reciting the words “John over John” and “John the Conqueror” is a powerful spell of magical protection against being hoodooed.
John is one of those unique individuals who lives up to, no, exceeds expectations.
John is a very peculiar medieval legend that originated sometime in the 1140s.
John is all about endless possibilites.
John is not really dull - he may only need his eyes examined.
John is totally blind and has been fitted with prosthetic eyes.
John is born of an old woman who is barren.
John is very strong on logic, but as many an expert will assure one, logic is only a method.
John is renowned for his incredible accuracy in his psychic readings!
John is considered the “One in a Million”.
John is both honest and hard-working, two virtues not in vogue but vastly underrated.
John is pretty sure this area could stand some improvement.
John is succeeding marvelously in journalism’s highest calling: to encourage people to think.
John is one of the true experts in blogging and one of the real pioneers of Internet.
John Is Dating Your Sister for the lowest price.
John is exceptional talent i also think that he is like modern, younger, fresher r.kelly.
John is a man who buys another human being for sex.
John is wrong and is disgusting. He shoves leeks up his arse and shags frozen chickens on a regular basis.
JOHN IS POLLUTED BY THE IRVINGS AND NOW THIS?????
John is the one you want.
John is for Lovers.
John - is clueless.
John is attempting to avoid the Dungeon though.
John is also defining what “eternal life” truly is.
John is the greatest person ever born on earth.
John is weird!
John is the man of the moment!
John is about to make history.
John is still a bright young thing.
John is never found without music playing somewhere.
John is developing a comedy about an ageing rock star based on a number of his contemporaries.
John is a professional magician in Devon available for children’s parties.
John is a pleasant surprise, whether for luxuries or necessities.
John is fun as a Son.
John is the peaceful, uncommercialized paradise of island fantasies.
John is the climax of the Law.
John is a man who knows the difference between right and wrong.
John is truly my best friend. I adore him. Its mutual.
John is fighting diaper rash right now.
John is having a REALLY REALLY bad day! I’m so mad I could spit.

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