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Survey says… I’m still bored!!!

1. My uncle(s) is…
Going out with/marrying a girl’s mom who I went to high school with. That was sort of a surreal moment when we met again!

2. Never in my life…
Have I been outside of this country. That will change next year!!!

3. When I was five…
That was around the time that I saw the kid a few trailers down from me get run down by a car. It was fucked up!!

4. High school is/was…
The fucking worst!!! I was just a giant ball of depression and anger and all kinds of fucked up shit. But there was a couple of really good things mixed in there. The best friend I ever had was back then. She rocked. I loved her. I fucked it up… I discovered the Punk Rock! It still rocks! I love it!! Punk pwned me….

5. My friends are…
Really, really far away from where I live…

6. I once saw…
Another fucked up story… This mute Guatemalen kid get mangled in one of the machines in the toxic waste dump that I worked at 7 years ago. God that smell stuck around for days…

7. There’s this girl I know who…
Got scared because I actually and honestly care about her. She still hits my soft spot.

8. Once, at a bar…
This sleazy bar skank tried to pick me up. I don’t mean “unattractive” or anything. She was maybe a few years older than me. But DAMN she creeped me out! So I just ignored the shit out of her….haha!

9. By noon, I’m usually…
Listening to the Al Franken show.

10. Last night…
I watched Apocolypse Now.

11. If only I had…
A decent paying job. Hell…a minimum wage job even! As long as it isn’t some prole bullshit. I’ve had enough of that already. But I need a fucking car for any of that to happen…

12. Next time I go to church…
It will be for a funeral. I don’t believe in church. Yet I’m an Ordained Minister! Remember how I love the irony?

13. George Bush…
Needs to quit fucking saying NUCULAR all goddamned ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Learn to speak english you fucking lying ass cocksucker!!!!!!!!

14. What annoys me the most…
I’ve said this in every other survey, I think. Liars.

15. I am looking forward to….
Going to the UK next year!!!!

16. My guilty pleasure is…..
Guilty?! I don’t think I have any “guilty pleasures”.

17. You know I’m lying when…
Well…seeing as how sharp my sarcasm is people can never tell when I’m “lying”. But I don’t flat out lie as much as is humanly possible. Especially when it comes to my friends. Lying to friends is fucked up!

18. What I miss most about the eighties…
Not a goddamned thing! The eighties SUCKED!!!!!!!

19. What I miss most about my childhood…
See above and substitute “my childhood”.

20. By this time next year….
The possiblilities will be endless.

21. A better name for me would be…
I don’t think it exists in the english language. I’m a mess of contradictions, yet not all that complicated if you don’t try too hard.

22. I sometimes have a hard time understanding…
How this country could possibly have gotten as fucked up as it has in just a short 5 years. Seriously! What the fuck?!?

23. The most people who have slept in my bed at once is…
Two methinks…

24. You know I like you if…
I say “I like you”. Or if I pick on you mercilessly. It’s my funny way of showing affection! :)

25. The closest I ever came to death was when…
hmm…there was a few. And nothing specific comes to mind… I’ll just go for the standard “major head trauma”. There was enough of those!!

26. If I could live anywhere, it would be…
In a free and pleasant land.

27. Take my advice, never…
Ignore my advice!! I’m a total fucking spaz but I usually know what I’m talking about. And it’s not an ego thing either.

28. My ideal breakfast is..
Pancakes or waffles or MANGOS!

29. My last dream was…
I don’t remember my dreams as well as I used to. They usually make no fucking sense anyways!

30. If you come to my hometown, I suggest you go to…
My house as it’s the only interesting place here! Fuck this place! Avoid it like the plague!!

32. My character flaws are…
There’s a few left. I doubt they will go away. Most lead back to me being a mean motherfucker. That’s nescessary in the world we live in.

32. My house is…
Pretty much awesome. Surrounded by trees and nature. But in the middle of fucking nowhere which sucks balls.

33. If you spend the night at my house…
You’ll be entertained. Apparently I’m a funny guy.

34. I’d stop my wedding if…
I don’t know if I want to get married…ever.

35. The world could do without…
Egos.

36. My favorite body part is…
My brain. It keeps me entertained!!

37. My favorite blonde is…
yeesh…uhh…no comment.

38. The biggest waste of time is…
Damn. There’s some tough questions in here. Bad music.

39. If I do anything well, its…
Websites. I’m a total artfag about that!

40. And by the way…
I need a girlfriend…

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