Reality is waiting for a bus…
{1}when was the last time you peed your pants:
Does a catheter count?
{2}most embarrasing celebrity you were ever in love with:
William Shatner.
{3}oddest music group/singer you like:
Wat Tyler is pretty odd.
{4}have you ever eaten glue (if yes, when):
Now I wanna sniff some glue, now I wanna have something to do. All the kids wanna sniff some glue, all the kids want something to do.
{5}Have you ever put Scotch Tape over your lips:
There was duck tape that one time… But we shall never mention that again!
{6}Have you ever shouted a racial slur:
Growing up with white trash family… I was never as bad as my dad.
{7}Ever lied about having a gf/bf:
That’s pretty pathetic dontcha think?
{8}Do you sing in the shower(if yes, what song[s]):
Sometimes…whatever is stuck in my head at the time!
{9}Wierdest physical deformity/problem/illnes you have:
My big toe is too short/honest to a fault/completely insane.
{10}Do you read while you crap:
No, I’m illiterate. Wait…how did I read that, and that, and THAT?!?
{11}Do you freak dance while listening to music alone:
Sorry…I’m not that white.
{12}Have you ever seen the movie Hell House:
I live it.
{13}Worst haircut you’ve ever had:
Mullet. Jr. High. Waaaaay too big of a MacGyver fan!
{14}What religion intrigues you:
Scientology because it makes you fat!
{15}What word do you pronounce oddly:
Hello (fuck off).
Now for some GIRLY stuff
{16}Have you ever worn connect-the-dot undies:
Now that intrigues me!
{17}Edible panties:
*Munch, munch* What?
{18}Do you prefer regular or flavored condoms:
Con-doms?
{19}Do you prefer pads or tampons. Why:
Tampons. Easier to dip in coffee.
{20}Do you wax/shave ‘done there’:
umm…”done there”?
I won’t forget the guys
{21}Do you prefer wearing flavored/regular condoms:
I’m not that flexible.
{22}Have you ever tried edible panties:
*chew, chew, swallow* Come again?
{23}Do you wax/shave ‘down there:
Say it, don’t spray it.
{24}Ever been told its too short/long:
Never!
{25}Ever done a prostitute:
I don’t have to pay for it.
Family Life
{26}Ever walked in on parents doing ‘it’:
What a HORRIBLE question to ask!!!! And worse…I found PICTURES!!! *chokes back the bile*
{27}What about the morning after:
Huh?
{28}Ever walked in on a sibling doing ‘it’:
Thank God No!
{29}Ever cussed out your parent(s):
Lots!!!
{30}Ever been forced to wear clothes of a sibling(of the opposite sex):
You need therapy from the sounds of this survey!
School Sucks
{31}Ever done it at school:
I was too busy doing last night’s homework between classes. Procrastination counts!
{32}ever cussed out a teacher:
Nah.
{33}Ever stolen something from school. What was it:
I didn’t even want to be there. Why would I take something to remind me of being there?!
{34}Ever been called dumb by a teacher:
No. But one time in first period, senior year, my economics teacher was showing us how to do our taxes. The guy in front of me said “I don’t understand can you show me again?”. So our teacher (that looked EXACTLY like Shaggy only fatter!) walked up, leaned over, and said “I’m really high right now. Get John to explain it to you!”.
{35}Ever made up a serious lie to make your teachers look stupid:
The truth is stranger than fiction. Look above!
Nighty-Night
{36}Ever woken up with a stuffed animal/pillow between your legs:
Only heads.
{37}Do you sleep walk:
I sleep think.
{38}Ever said anything embarassing in your sleep:
I wake myself up when I try to talk.
{39}Ever fallen asleep with gum in your mouth:
Nope.
{40}Ever had a wet dream (yes. girls can too):
I dream in slow motion and I wake up….SCREAMING!!!
