Carnage! It’s fucking CARNAGE!!!
1. Do you like chinese food?
I think it’s better cold and covered in soy sauce. Just like sex.
2. How big is your bed?
Not big enough to keep me from hitting things when I occasionally take swings at people in my dreams. You know what? If you’re laying on your arm at the time… It hurts!!!
3. Is your room clean?
Covered in an inch of dust…. But pretty much. What an odd question. Better than asking how many pillows I have for the fucking 10,000th time!!!
4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
Desktop.
5. Do you smoke?
Not really since I was 3. That’s not a joke!
6. Whats the sexiest thing about Johnny Depp?
When he played the gay pirate?
7. Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex?
Tis better to give than revieve.
8. Who sleeps with you every night?
The future and the past.
9. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
hmmm…four maybe? And at least one person in the car was on drugs/carrying drugs too! Or shitfaced drung (funny typo!)!
10. Pancakes or French Toast?
Pancakes…and it’s FREEDOM toast you fucking liberal pinko commie homo!
11. Do you like coffee?
“I like it the way I like my women - ground-up and stored in the freezer.”
12. How do you like your eggs?
I’m not really big on eggs.
13. Do you believe in astrology?
Only the Chinese variety.
14. Last people you talked to on the phone?
Julie.
15. Last person on your missed call list?
Bill collector.
16. McDonalds or Burger King?
BK is sliiiiiightly less disgusting.
17. Last thing you bought?
umm…shipping for presents.
18. What are you hearing right now?
The Al Franken show.
19. Pick a lyric:
I have this stuck in my head after seeing my last survey….
You’re so semi-detached, you’re so privet hedge
You’re so income tax, you’re so national defence
You’re so semi-detached, you’re so rank and file
You’re so neighbourhood watch, you’re so antiseptic smile
You’re so semi-detached, you’re so sliced white bread
You’re so nicotine patch, you’re so buy to rent
You’re so semi-detached, your’e so double-glazed
You’re so celebrity facts, you’re so easily amazed
You’re so semi-detached, you’re so stocks and shares
You’re so treadmill rats with such calm blank stares
You’re so semi-detached, you’re so holiday home
You’re so Prozac relaxed, insecure and alone
Semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-detached
Semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-detached
Imitation of life
Semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-semi-detached
You’re so semi-detached
You’re so MPV
You’re so state of the art
You’re so buy one get one free
You’re so semi-detached
You’re so dictate the norm
You’re so rush hour mob-rule
In white-collar uniform
20. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Purple…
21. Can you play pool?
I used to be sort of decent. My dad would take me out like once a week to play when I was about 15….which I enjoyed for some reason. I hope Caggy does this one!!!
22. Do you like maps?
Huh????? They make good hats…
23. Tell me a random fact:
Natural redheads require 20% more anaesthesia than other people do.
24. Ever attend a theme party?
Halloween is a theme.
25. Ever do a keg stand?
Technically, no. But I have stood on my head to funnel a beer or two. Holding the funnel by myself! I’m talking a KITCHEN FUNNEL!!! That takes skills…hahahaha!
26. Craziest place you’ve slept after a night of drinking?
I never, ever passed out. Way back when I did drink I actually found it hard to sleep drunk!
27. What is your favorite season?
It’s still summer somewhere, and I really need to go there….
28. What is the first music video you ever saw?
Probably THRILLER. Aww fuck!!! Now it’s stuck in my head!!!!!!!
29. Pick a movie quote:
I have come to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubble gum!
30. Favorite quote:
I dunno if it’s my favorite, but….
You’re not going crazy… You’re going sane in a crazy world!!!
I love The Tick…
31. What is your favorite Thirsty Thursday hangout?
Say what???
32. Best friend’s name?
I don’t have just one and I don’t want to list them all…
33. How long have you known them?
Only one has been over a year but it seems like forever with all.
34. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
Do I count?
35. What time did you wake up this morning?
It was about 10:30 when I almost dislocated my shoulder taking a swing at someone. See question number two!
36. Wake up next to anyone?
Beside myself.
37. Best thing about winter?
It only comes once a year!
38. Name a couple of favorite colors:
Blue and bluer.
39. How old are you?
28 going on 17…hahahahaha…
40. What month is your birthday in?
May…
41. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
Ninjas can kick pirate ass!
42. Favorite “Goth Rock” bands:
Oh Fuck OFF!!!
43. What are you doing this weekend?
I’ll put you down… Inside myself.
44. Who will take this survey?
Angela… Maybe Marilyn?
