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All I need’s a holocaust to make my day complete…

directions: answer questions open and honestly. preferably while naked or wearing some type of animal printed thong while giving a monkey a reach around and reciting the pledge of allegiance.

1. so, hi there, whats your name?
Rev. John x1984x

2. and your sign would be?
Gemini

3. so that makes your birthday when?
May 24th

4. when i _________________ i kind of feel _______________ inside.
Make my friends laugh really hard - warm.

5. sometimes on thursdays i will_________________?
Do something besides just watch tv.

6. if you were any card in a deck which card would you be and why?
The Ace Of Spades…is Motorhead reason enough??

7. what does the word pragmatic mean?
Practical.

8. how would you relate this to a common daily occurance in your life? or some type of overwhelming political isuue?
uhh….what??? I do alot of these surveys to kill the boredom. Also see number 4.

9. are you sick?
Oh relax! I’m sure it’s just your brain going crazy…

10. what do you have?
A brain tumor?

11. are you taking anything for the symptoms?
Alice Cooper cures the crazies.

12. do you like this survey?
meh…better when you don’t ask!

13. do you like me?
No…not at all.

14. do your privates itch?
I bathe every day…

15. when was the last time you got “tested?”
Probly the last time I had surgery.

16. do you have aids?
No. Do you?

17. have you ever considered professional help?
I am a professional!

18. do you like ponies?
I’m a dude.

19. do you want to see my grill?
Is that innuendo?

20. whats your favorite number?
18…and I like it.

21. what type of emotion does the word BALLS elicit?
Blue… Oh, this wasn’t word association!

22. does it offend you when i write BALLS or BUTT FUCK? if so, do you have a stick up your ass?
The “bible belt” isn’t something you use to hold up your pants..

23. did you just fart?
Yes…yes I did.

24. i can smell it from here. you need to shower. Have you ever taken a shit in the shower?
I did just shower… And I never got that drunk.

25. so what are you doing later?
I’m gonna cry! Stupid ice storm in georgia ruined my plans for the weekend. BOO HOO!!! Then I’ll watch Conan…

26. my parents are out of town. __________________.
Are you over 18?

27. scrambled or over easy?
Not much for eggs.

28. homesexuality or heterosexuality?
Who cares?

29. what are your top ten most commonly used slang terms minus vulgarity.
I doubt there’s even 10. And I can’t be fucked to sit here for 20 minutes trying to think of them!!!

30. is that your man on the floor?
No it’s my dog.

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