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Archive for January, 2006

Chuck Norris Returns!

Friday, January 27th, 2006

Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. However, do not try to square Chuck Norris - the result is death.

Chuck Norris’ testicles do not produce sperm. They produce […]

My Best Friend

Monday, January 23rd, 2006

i think my head will explode
my throat is full of glass
my worst nightmare just came true
the cancer started 6 months ago
she did nothing to help
i knew what was happening
she murdered you with criminal neglect
that fucking bitch
i had to watch you wither away
for two long weeks
away to nothing
i’m […]

Why do I daydream?

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

1. Whats your favourite sandwich filling?
Pretty much anything that had a soul.

2. Do you have any style icons?
umm…I don’t care about fashion.

3. Whats your skin colour?
Somewhere between brown and white.

4. What colours do you like to wear?
Black, white, blue, gray, denim….

5. What do you like most about yourself?
The amazing ability to not shave for weeks […]

“John was killed by…”

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

Time for the second installment of random Google fun!!! Step one: search “John was killed by”. Step two: pick out several of the better results. Step three: tell a story with them. Enjoy!

John was killed by the government.
John was killed by the authorities.
John was killed by the terrorists.
John was killed by a team of men […]

101 Reasons To Die

Monday, January 9th, 2006

1. Hola:
Fuck you.

2.Where are you?

3.What day is it?
Technically monday since it’s 12:20am.

4. How are you today?

5. Do anything interesting yet?:
umm…the most interesting thing I did all day was make a couple of new pictures for my forum.

6. If not, why not?:
I’m incredibly lame…

7. You wish you were?
Only fools and hobos make wishes.

8. Smell?
Yeah…I haven’t taken […]