Chuck Norris’ first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. However, do not try to square Chuck Norris - the result is death.

Chuck Norris’ testicles do not produce sperm. They produce […]

Time for the second installment of random Google fun!!! Step one: search “John was killed by”. Step two: pick out several of the better results. Step three: tell a story with them. Enjoy!

John was killed by the government.
John was killed by the authorities.
John was killed by the terrorists.
John was killed by a team of men […]

1. When Chuck Norris helps you jumpstart your car, remember: beard is positive, fist is negative.

2. Chuck Norris will only have sex with women who agree to do it on his bed of nails. Needless to say, it is the best sex they will ever have.

3. Chuck Norris has the copyright on each one of […]

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed […]

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has
never cried.

2. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family
does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather
roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo
meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before
you.

3. Rather than […]

Here’s a pic that Monk Dave showed me a little while ago. I didn’t think it was photoshopped when the first half had loaded…

I just came up with this after reading a similar bulletin on myspace. I Googled “John is” and picked out a few dozen of the phrases that came up. Then the new part, pieced them together to make a story! I was rolling on the floor laughing at some of the things that came up […]

I “stole” this from a friends blog on myspace. It was just too damn funny!

BAGHDAD — After more than two years of fucking the shit out of Iraq, the United States military is finally ready to pull out, and cum all over the broken and exhausted nation.

“When we first saw Iraq, she was all oiled […]

Iraq war explained

Someone posted this on Punk Torrents and they took it from another site. Fucking brilliant if you ask me!

Q: Daddy, why did we have to invade Iraq?
A: Because they had Weapons of Mass Destruction, honey.

Q: But the inspectors didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That’s because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And […]

France Invades U.S. ….hilarious

France Invades U.S. (Part 1)

Jerry Ghinelli

After months of build up, the French government, led by Jacques Chirac, launched a pre-emptive attack on the United States of America.

Declaring the US “a rogue nation in violation of international law and in defiance of UN resolution 1441,” France launched a major ground offensive to […]